Monday, November 16, 2009

The Anaconda in My Tummy

I was hanging out with Ches' PMS gang the other night. We were in Chocolate Kiss, and I've finished off my adobo flakes, plus my share of Ches' fish kiev, some of Robby's chicken fingers and Regina's potato wedges, not to mention four or so glasses of the yummy bottomless iced tea. I bought desserts for everyone as has been my habit when I'm with these kids who treat me like I'm their demented elder sister or pseudo mom (as Robby likes to call me).

As I dig into the brownie a la mode Eycee stares at me in amazement and breaks into wild applause. Eycee is one of those perfect girls who are pretty and cool and smart and good-hearted too, and I love her dearly, but later in the car I would go into a long tirade with Ches on how severely distressed I was at her actuations. What was I, a freak in some circus show that would make her clap like that? All bcoz I can eat a lot?

Eycee would later on explain that what really amazed her was my enthusiasm in going at the desserts as tho they were my first meals for the night when in fact I've been stuffing myself for the past hour or so. She said she knows other people who can also eat and eat, but after a while they also slow down and give up, while I on the other hand consistently show the same hearty appetite throughout my long and heavy meal. (And this little girl expects such an explanation to get her off the hook? What she managed to actually do is to get herself into deeper trouble with the way she was rubbing it in that I'm this lean, mean eating machine. Grrr.)

The following night I go to a dinner with my MWC friends. I stuff myself with kimchi and bulgogi and japchae and stuff, and text Ches: It's so refreshing to be out with my old friends who are used to my eating habits and do not break into wild applause when they see me gobble down food. Hahaha. These same MWC friends prepared an AVP for my despedida party when I resigned, and the first few slides had texts like, "Before Jewel came, Judith was the most matakaw girl in all of MWC ..." Ate Judith is about 10 years older than me and easily double my heft, so it wasn't exactly flattering to be called more matakaw than her, much less the most matakaw girl in all of MWC. Groan.

Even before MWC, in the law office, I was already notorious for my huge appetite. I recall one Christmas party in Mandarin and I got three or so plates heaped with tempura and pasta and salads and pastries, among many other stuff. Even my batchmates who were my daily lunchmates were amazed and I tried to defend myself by saying it was all the breastfeeding and pumping milk for Yoshi that was making me so ravenous. Rhoel's reply: Sigurado kang nagpapasuso ka lang ng bata at hindi ka nagpapalaki ng anaconda diyan sa tiyan mo? Hahaha. Classic Rhoel.

Andrea used to say I'm one of those girls who eat and eat and never get fat. She has other friends like this, and she said she believes our kind do not really eat anything at all when nobody is watching, it's only when there are people around that we binge, just for show, just to be smug that we can eat anything and not gain a pound. Hahaha.

My food philosophy is pretty simple, actually. As long as I still fit in my clothes and do not have to buy an entire new wardrobe to accommodate my burgeoning waistline, then I'm happy and will continue to enjoy my chocolates and chicharon and pork chops and potato chips and all these other bad stuff I'm perennially craving for.

And if I no longer fit into my clothes, then that gives me a perfectly legitimate excuse to go shopping, doesn't it? Besides, I can always blame the anaconda in my tummy.